The Hunger Games Memorial

It starts with familiar scenes. Wood shacks and raggedy children, hard lives and poverty surrounded by mystic beauty.  Fathers travel deep into the earth, searching for coal. Mothers stand with vacant eyes looking at the places in the walls that used to feature their husbands. And children become parents because poverty and sorrow have taken and molded them into adults, too young and too hard. It seems like a throwback, a picture of a time in history where coal mining was the hardest.

But this story is not from the past or the present. This is the beginning of The Hunger Games, a futuristic novel set in the US. The States have been divided and unified to form 13 Districts. Each has a focal job. District 12, where the film begins, is set in Appalachia, centrally, West Virginia.

The Hunger Games is a mix between two histories: the gladiatorial battles in Rome and the oppressed coal miners. As the trilogy continues, there is an uprising against the tyranny of “The Capital.”  This is almost eerily similar to the stories of the coal wars. Through establishing a union and striking, change was able to take place. But to accomplish change came the deaths of many people and trust between the government and the people being destroyed.

The games themselves are done in gladiator styles. Children, essentially, kill other children in a game of survival and bloodlust. Throughout the film it is repeatedly mentioned that the games are a TV show and the purpose is to entertain and control the people. It provides both hope and fear, and within the movie, a powerful motif is offered: hope is more powerful than fear.

In the Hunger Games the past was pushed forward into a new future. And the history of the Appalachian people is not a dead history. It is alive and evolving and being retold through futuristic teen fiction. And the power and the drive that are ingrained through struggle were also shown. As Katniss’s eyes flashed, as she fought for her family, as she fought to win an impossible battle … in this we can see our own history. We can remember the fatherless children who were left with only stories of explosions and coal mining accidents. We can appreciate an ability to survive off what the land gives. We can be proud of who we are an who we can be. Suzanne Collins erected a memorial for the Appalachian people with her book. Now we have a new avenue to tell the stories of this people.

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1.19 Per Pound

This is what I remember:

Chilly weather in South Carolina. Not knowing where to go. Laughing with Sarah and Linnea. Buying 1984 and To Kill A Mockingbird in a used bookstore.

Next came being lost. We had to get to that one thrift store where everything was cheap that was on that road that went past the bookstore. We ended up in a power plant’s parking lot. We called Sarah’s dad. I think he was under the house doing some rewireing. But eventually he answered, gave us directions in his deep, loud voice, and we found Goodwill Clearance.

Imagine the floor of your messiest friend’s room. Imagine the clothes that cover the floor. Imagine that a genie transported the clothes onto blue tables in a warehouse with a sign that said Goodwill Clearance.

It smelled of dust and hands and washed-but-not-clean. There was a mountain of shoes. You had to search dig through them to find the match.

We got a tub on wheels on our way in, and soon we were digging through piles of clothes. I had worn skinny jeans and a sweater with a tank top under it. We would pull out a shirt, pants, something, and try it on. Linnea and Sarah would give me the yes or no. I couldn’t decide for myself – there wasn’t a mirror. We found dresses and skirts; shirts and jeans; shorts for summer. We searched using touch and sight to find a gem in all that chaos.

At the end of the search, after going through table after table of no organization, we rolled our tubs to the front. They stuck them on a scale, weighed them, and we paid by the pound.

By the pound. For clothes. Like they were bananas or something.

Afterwards we washed everything and sorted through it all again. The dusty smell was gone. We sorted through our finds, created new outfits, and were, all-in-all, amazed.

Goodwill Clearance was more like dumpster diving than shopping. But it was one of those wonderful times with friends. We laughed and searched and discovered. We found lots of treasures that didn’t even make it at the regular Goodwill. But there were still tons of things that were worth more than $1.19 per pound.

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My Feet Are Her Feet

My grandma loved shopping and cigarrettes. It broke her heart when I was fourteen without a boyfriend, and she might have loved her dogs Spanky and Gizmo more than us. She lived with us when I was too young to be mature. I yelled at her one night after VBS and told her not to smoke in the house. She called me a nut. My mom called me disrespectful.

She died when I was sixteen. I remember she had moved in with my aunt in Georgia, and I didn’t see her before she died. We were never very close.

My mom tells me a story about my grandma going to thrift stores and meeting strangers. “People were drawn to her,” she told me. “They wanted to know her.”

I’m telling the wrong story.

After she died, we went to clean her house out over and over and over again. She was a thrift store junkie. There were closets and closets of clothes, bedspreads, shoes, and shelves full of angel figurines. We sorted through wants and don’t wants; yard sales and don’t bother to sells.

One closet, the long one in her bedroom, was full of shoes: black heels, boots, baby pink slippers, and sandals. In this shoe closet, I found her yellow flip flops.

I took them home and my feet fit into the imprint her feet had left. Our big toes were the same. Our foot shape was the same. And her shoes became my shoes.

I walked in her shoes for years, until they broke. I wore them constantly – everywhere. Whenever anyone talked to me about my grandma, I would tell them I had her feet.

We were different, my grandma and I. We loved different things and placed value on different things. Some people say that you don’t have to love your family, and it’s true. You don’t have to. But in a thrift store, in a real thrift store, full of strangers’ shoes, you won’t find a pair of yellow flip flops that have the imprint of your feet before you’ve ever worn them. Maybe the same feet don’t equal love, but for me it does. For me it means we were more than two strangers in a house bickering about where she should smoke.

We were grandmother and granddaughter. We were bound by something that I cannot explain or understand. My feet are her feet.

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Map Prophecies

I believe in prophecies. And really, if you believe in God, you have license to believe in all sorts of supernatural things. If there’s a supernatural being around, anything could happen, anything could be true.

This is my prophecy, my reassurance of the direction I chose.

I have this friend I met in high school. Her name is Becca, and she’s pretty awesome.

Rebecca has lots of great craft ideas, like a wind-chime made out of skeleton keys and a watch-face bracelet. Last Christmas, while I was back home for break, she told me that she wanted to cover the outside of a glass bowl with an old map.

We have a store downtown called Grand Antiques. It is half antique store, half thrift store, and holds two stories of random booths. (The place is filled with what I call “secret passages” but that’s another story.) I picked up an old map there to make her the bowl for Christmas. I bought it for $5 and went home. The map ended up in the dining room, and I kept not making it into a bowl.

At that time in my life, I was struggling to know whether or not I should go to China. I had applied with my school for a short-term exchange program, but I was stressed about money and leaving home. Plus, with the big decisions, I like to do what I think I’m supposed to do, and I wasn’t very sure that I was “supposed” to go to China.

My mom was the one who noticed what the map actually was. She was the one who spread it over the table, called me into the room, and asked me why I’d destroy a map of the place I wanted to go, a map of China.

I knew then. I knew that I was supposed to go to China. It sounds crazy. But really not so much if you believe in the kind of God I believe in. I prayed and asked for guidance, and I think this was one of the many ways He answered.

Oh. One more thing. The map shows the whole country of Asia. On the way back from China, the school took us to Bangkok, Thailand to set up a study abroad program. I didn’t even like Thailand very much; I witnessed a rich section of a broken place. It felt like a masquerade.

Last semester, I was asked if I would return to Thailand to study abroad for a semester. My first response was no, absolutely not. But the map is still over my desk, catching my eye, and reassuring me ever so subtly.

And I’m not looking so much at China now.

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A Cup of Forgiveness

A handful of change, scrounged from the crack of the car’s seats, in between burned CDs, under floor-mats, was all I needed. We had been fighting. It might have been about traveling or time or the future. I don’t know.

The yard sale was in front of the building where the library used to be. The building had been empty for years since. But that day, the parking lot suddenly became a temporary thrift store. Old women set up shop, men in their fifties, a young mother… all selling what they didn’t want anymore.

There were piles of books and dishes in boxes. A random assortment of pictures and toys sat on a blanket. I wanted to search. I wanted to discover. I wanted to find something awesome.

We went back to his car. Searched under the seats, in the glove compartment, in between all those little change pockets that cars have. Soon my hand was full of dimes and nickles, pennies… I might have had one quarter.

And so we went back, armed with loose change. I found an amber goblet with a chip in the foot and he found a novel he wanted to read. But my favorite find of all was a beautiful handmade ceramic mug. It was painted with trees and cost me one dime.

We didn’t fight anymore that day. The search eased tensions; my excitement soothed wounds. The old mug gave one day new hope.

The handle of my mug is broken off now, but I still use it, cupping the smooth side in my palm. I don’t think about the brokenness. I think about the beauty that can be found in a box of dishes in front of where the library once was. I think about the warmth of the mug in my hand after it’s been filled with warm coffee.

I think about the bittersweet way forgiveness tasted a year after the handle broke off my heart.

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Shoes Talk

I’m not scared of a lot. Not of heights or leaving the country or dark places. But I am scared of being alone. I guess most people are. It’s so easy to be comfortable in the places you know you are loved. When I’m at home, I know my family will put up with me when I complain about everything. When I’m at school, I know my friends will inspire me to pull all-nighters.

But when I go somewhere new, somewhere where I don’t know people, I’m afraid.

I went to Richmond this summer to intern. I stayed with a family I barely knew. Once I was there, it didn’t take long before I fell in love with the people, the work, the city. But before I left, I just cried. Leaving made me want to vomit. Finding professional clothing and figuring out what it meant to be a lobbyist was stressing me out. But my biggest worry was having to leave safe and comfortable.

I found my “adult” wardrobe in the crowded racks of thrift stores.  I spent hours pushing my way through embroidered t-shirts and floor-length jean skirts. But on one of my searches, I ran across a pair of new Sperrys in my size for $4. There was something comforting in finding something so useful and perfect… like it had been set aside by someone just for me.

In the end it was good summer. Filled with thrift store clothes, new friendships, and the closest thing I’ve ever had to a “grown-up” job. I miss it now, and when I wear those Sperrys, I remember Nancy’s cheesecake cookies, Nick listening to Michael Buble, David Bailey’s patience and encouragement, and realizing that a new place doesn’t always mean loneliness.

Oh, by the way, if you want, you can click here to read the magazine I worked on this summer at my internship.

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Thrifting and Ebay

Twilight, really?

It was right before Christmas, and the local Salvation Army Thrift store was selling books for 25 cents – hardcover and paperback. I went over to look, and that’s when I found Twilight and New Moon.

I’m trying to sell some stuff on Ebay. In the same way I believe that it is beautiful to make old things new, I believe it is not-beautiful to have five thousand things. What we own has the uncanny ability to bind us and control us. When our stuff gets broken, we often want to lash out at people. But stuff is just stuff. It doesn’t really matter. All our things weigh us down. I’ve moved several times, and all those boxes are heavy. It’s hard to keep up with books, jewelry, nicknacks, clothes, makeup, souvenirs, dishes….

So I’ve decided to start selling stuff I don’t want anymore online. So far I have sold one book… not impressive. lol. But eventually I will try to sell these two books on ebay as a set.

Ebay is a way for you to have your own little thrift store, selling all those things you don’t want anymore. You can resell thrift store finds and clear out the recesses of your closets.

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Not My Dreams

“Last night I dreamed that I was on a building near Niagara Falls. I was there for a drama lesson and when I went looking for our teacher, I found Woody Allen. He told me I was flirting with him. 

I doubt it.

After that it was really awkward. We went to this small stream underneath the building. I don’t think that I remember why we were there. But Woody Allen was flirting with me!”

This is a dream that is not my dream. At Community Thrift Store in Charlotte, NC (which is an awesome place to go) I found a dream journal that had been written in it. The dreams belong to a girl named Miranda. She wrote in the journal in 2002. She was in high school. She lived on Scotland Avenue.

I wonder about her. I wonder if she moved out and got married. I wonder if her mom went through her stuff and weeded out what she thought she wouldn’t want. Old t-shirts, books, and a dream journal with a couple of entries.

I wonder what would happen if I dropped my journal at a thrift store. Would it get trashed? Would someone find it and read every page? Would they find me on facebook and tell me they read into the recesses of my heart?

I want to be read. I want others to read my words and be influenced. I bought two journals at Community Thrift, and one was empty. Maybe I can fill the empty one up with my words and return it to Community Thrift where some other girl can pick it up and connect with a stranger.

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